Name: Robert D. Busboom 
  Nicknames: Rob, Busboom or Robbie 
  Height: 6'9" 
  Weight: 500lbs."THE QUARTER TON COMIC"
  Eyes: Blue 
  Hair: Brown 
  Hobbies:  Basketball, Computers, Movies, 
  and Writing 

Well, lets start at the beginning.  My father was a covert operative for the United States Government.  In early 1971, he was working on an assignment for no other than Richard Nixon himself.  My mother was a double agent working for both the German and Yugoslavian governments.. 

My father and mother were both after an Argentine spy named Mantek Pentron.  You see Mr. Pentron was smuggling out of the U.S. the secret formula for twinkies. 

My father and President Nixon didn't want the formula to fall into the hands of the Russians for obvious reasons, and my mother and her associates were afraid of the twinky, and the effects that it might have on the communist nation.  (See: The Great Twinky Experiment

My father and mother had independently followed Mr. Pentron to a small island in the Mediterranean Sea.  My mother, a savvy women, had established herself as Mr. Pentron's girlfriend in order to get the plans away from him.  My father saw my mother as a means to get to Mr. Pentron not knowing she was a double agent. 

My mother, not knowing my father was a secret agent, divulged her plans to steal the formula from Mr. Pentron.  My father, not know that my mother was a secret agent, and that she was not stealing the plans for profit, but instead to help the communist cause, agreed to help her. 

On August 7th my parents not knowing each others true identities as secret agents for opposing sides stole the formula for twinkies and fled to indonesia.  It was there in indonesia that they discovered the truth about one another, and it was there that they fell in love with one another. 

They agreed to move to a small town in Indiana, where they would mate and produce genetically enhanced children.  They had two children one of whom is me.  I was suppose to have extraordinary strength, size, agility, and intelligence.  Instead they got a 6'4" 300 lb. boy with the mentality of a 12 year old who has no coordination. 

My parents eventually got a divorce and moved as far away as they could get from one another, cultural differences. 

Now I (Rob Busboom) the product of genetic engineering, and some chemical that McDonalds puts in there food has decided to go among you mortal human beings and make you laugh for no apparent reason.  And that ladies and gentlemen is my story!